The advertising industry is filled with inside baseball. Lucky for you, I am the Baseball Boy™ and have taken a “swing” at translating a few. Home run! Foul ball!
30,000 foot view
When somebody asks for this, what they’re asking for is to be a bird. They want to fly. And who can blame them?
Toss ’em out the window and let’s make their dreams come true.
Example: Carol, could you help me find a ladder so that I may take a 30,000 foot view on all of these 970×90 banner ads about snacks, uh, I mean, bird seed?
Circle Back
If somebody tells you they’ll circle back, congratulations! You have entered the coveted Hamster Wheel of Time.
Now, run.
I SAID RUN!!!!!!
Example: Let’s circle back on that ladder later, Carol.
Hard Out
When somebody leaves a meeting on time and says they have a hard out, what they are too embarrassed to say is that they must go feed their baby chinchilla. It’s hungry. They should just say, “Chinchilla hungry.” But instead they say, “hard out.”
Example: My chinchilla is hungry, I have a hard out, Carol.
Impressions
When a marketer tells you the work they did got a lot of impressions, what actually happened is that people saw the ads and their eyeballs bugged out of their head like a cartoon wolf before those bugged-out eyeballs fell out completely.
The bugged-out-fallen-out eyeballs were then scooped off the floor and slid into a jar for a profitable transaction to be made later. Savvy business is rewarding, but at what cost?
Example: Our campaign delivered 4 billion wolf eyeballs to the Wolf Eyeball Collector, Carol. Nice work!
Put a pin in it
When you’re in the middle of a discussion and somebody says to put a pin in it, they’re instructing you to stick a toothpick into their keyboard like you would to see if a cake is done.
Is the keyboard soft in the middle? Gooey? Keep the meeting going for a bit longer.
Once the toothpick comes out clean, the meeting is adjourned and your mission is complete.
Example: The T key on my keyboard stands for “tasty.” Put a pin in it, Carol.
Turnkey
This is a real Super Bowl / Big Game scenario when somebody wants to push an easy button but they cannot afford to pay the licensing fee to Staples.
Example: Carol! Did you see all those Super Bowl spots with celebrities? Turnkey!